ManagementSpeak« Previous Entries
ManagementSpeak: You need to focus on building our structural capital. Translation: Intellectual capital walks out the door with you every night. We want to make sure that if you leave we won’t miss you. Thanks to Tom Reid for adding to our ManagementSpeak fund of intellectual capital with this fine translation.
“We have a ‘strategic’ plan. It’s called doing things.” – Herb Kelleher, co-founder and former CEO, Southwest Airlines
ManagementSpeak: We value our customers. Translation: We value our customers, but only as much as the value they bring to the boss’s wallet. And we all value long-time subscriber Sam Jackendoff’s acute semantic sensibilities.
ManagementSpeak: We are going to have to tweak those numbers. Translation: “Fake” and “lie” are such ugly words. Tom Reid, This week’s MS contributor, did no tweaking in his translation.
ManagementSpeak: We can discuss this in more detail at another time. Translation: But no matter how long we discuss it or what evidence you have, I’ll never change my position. And no matter how long we discuss it, I won’t change my position on the quality of Joseph Muscarella’s contribution to the ManagementSpeak archives.
ManagementSpeak: We don’t have formal projects around here. Translation: If we set milestones we’d have to meet them. The mysterious correspondent known only as L.T. knows projects.
ManagementSpeak: We practice Agile methodologies in all of our business practices. Translation: We practice haphazard methodologies in all of our business practices — we wait until the last minute, get the staff working on projects they have no skills for, and wonder why the results are the same as last time. Thanks to today’s contributor, [...]
ManagementSpeak: I don’t look at things as problems – I see them as opportunities! Translation: You are about to have a fresh flaming sack of opportunity tossed on your doorstep. Mark R. Everhart joins the KJR Club for this non-flammable translation of a well-worn cliché.
ManagementSpeak: More information on exactly what is needed and who needs to be involved will be sent out in the next few days. Translation: We know we need to do something, but we don’t know what it is, how to do it, or who should be involved. Thanks for giving up your weekend. And thanks [...]
ManagementSpeak: Manage Translation: Control. Don’t let employees breathe unless you’ve developed formal oxygen-consumption/CO2-exhalation metrics. And thanks to this week’s contributor for helping me management ManagementSpeak.« Previous Entries