ManagementSpeak
« Previous EntriesManagementSpeak, 8/30/2010
Monday, August 30th, 2010ManagementSpeak: We are doing well — in fact better than planned — but we are still vulnerable to external factors.
Translation: If it all goes base-over-apex, it’s not my fault.
The phrase comes from Ralph Norris, when he was CEO of Air New Zealand. The translator preferred anonymity.
ManagementSpeak 8/23/2010
Monday, August 23rd, 2010ManagementSpeak: So-and-so has left the company to pursue other interests.
Translation: We finally fired his worthless behind.
KJR Club member Dave Farris’ interests include interpretation of management phraseology.
ManagementSpeak, 8/16/2010
Monday, August 16th, 2010ManagementSpeak: We’re making these changes so our program is more competitive.
Translation: Our program is far superior to those of our competitors, which means we’re spending too much. We need to lower our standards.
KJR Club member Dave Liesse’s linguistic standards are, however, impeccable.
ManagementSpeak, 8/9/2010
Monday, August 9th, 2010ManagementSpeak: Entrepreneurial.
Translation: Good.
This week’s contributor points out, anonymously, how even very good words lose their meaning.
ManagementSpeak 8/2/2010
Monday, August 2nd, 2010ManagementSpeak: We are changing the organization of the entire department to focus on client outcomes.
Translation: We don’t understand how our business works.
This week’s anonymous contributor understands how the translation business works, about which we’re delighted.
ManagementSpeak, 7/26/2010
Monday, July 26th, 2010ManagementSpeak: You have to LOVE this job to do it.
Translation: Don’t expect pay commensurate with your level of effort.
We can’t pay KJR Club member Richard Adams for his contribution, but do appreciate his level of effort … and its quality.
ManagementSpeak, 7/19/2010
Monday, July 19th, 2010ManagementSpeak: We’re sending you to Manila for training.
Translation: We’ve outsourced your job and are sending you to train your replacement.
This week’s international offering comes from “… a contributor who offers something spicy from Hungary that isn’t paprika.”
ManagementSpeak, 7/12/2010
Monday, July 12th, 2010ManagementSpeak: We plan to divest two units within our business area. These are both solid businesses with good growth prospects, but their growth and ultimate long-term value are currently being constrained by their affiliation with us.
Translation: Their growth prospects suck, and they’ve been a drain on our bottom lines.
Lockheed Martin Chairman & CEO Robert J. [...]
Managementspeak, 7/5/2010
Monday, July 5th, 2010ManagementSpeak: I want to hear your input and thoughts to help the business prosper.
Translation: I want to hear your input and thoughts, so long as they’re exactly like mine.
This week’s contributor provided the inputs and thoughts we want to hear.
ManagementSpeak 6/28/2010
Monday, June 28th, 2010ManagementSpeak: You can’t force change.
Translation: But it sure is easy to prevent it.
KJR Club member Joseph Baxter would like to force a change in management vocabulary.
Bob Lewis is president of 