ManagementSpeak« Previous Entries
ManagementSpeak: We’d like to thank everyone for stepping up to get this impossible task successfully completed. Translation: Nobody is getting anything additional for their overtime, and we don’t have anything in the budget for bonuses. This week’s anonymous contributor got nothing for providing this week’s entry, except for the satisfaction of sharing his insight with […]
“Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.” – Zymurgy’s First Law of Evolving System Dynamics, which has little or nothing to do with zymurgy.
ManagementSpeak: We’ve decided to go in another direction. Translation: We found someone a third your age who will take your job for a third of your rate, and we’ll pay you to train him before you go. This week’s contributor is Bob Kertesz, whose age divided by three doesn’t really matter. What does is that […]
“This weekend in Ely, emails are going unanswered and the world doesn’t end.” – Billboard spotted on Interstate 35, headed north
ManagementSpeak: This got in under my radar. Translation: I’m way behind on my emails. Fortunately, I’m not – I spotted this excellent entry the moment it arrived in my inbox.
ManagementSpeak: Individual contributor. Translation: Cog in a wheel. This week’s anonymous source was an individual contributor, but hardly a cog in the ManagementSpeak wheel.
ManagementSpeak: We are consolidating all our offices into our new building in another state to better serve our customers. Translation: We have too much space in our new building and can’t afford the extra rent, so we’re moving our employees away from our customers. Thanks to this week’s contributor for serving KJR’s customers.
ManagementSpeak: We’ll specify that in the Policies and Procedures. Translation: We don’t care if we actually get the right results, as long as we have something to point to that proves we tried. This week’s contributor got the right results – the secret satisfaction of getting a new ManagementSpeak published. Why not do the same, […]
ManagementSpeak: This year we are limiting our corporate strategic initiatives to five key items. Translation: We actually have double that, but five fits better on the page and we hope you’ll be less upset when we ask you to do the rest, too. D.K., who provided this week’s bit of management math, is concerned he […]
“Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he’ll wreck everything.” – Bob Lewis, in Keep the Joint Running, regarding the philosophy many IT departments have about shadow IT.« Previous Entries