ManagementSpeak« Previous Entries
ManagementSpeak: Uptalent. Translation: We’re going to layoff employees who are doing well on the hope we can hire replacements who will do even better. This week’s contributor asked to remain anonymous so as to avoid being uptalented.
KJRSpeak: Self-employed friends of mine find themselves being fired on a regular basis. Thanks to budding epigrammist Matthew Cotton for this bit of quotability.
ManagementSpeak: Our company maintains an open dialogue with all our stakeholders and welcomes their feedback and ideas Translation: Thank you for your input. Now go away, the adults are talking. This week’s contributor maintained his open dialog by listening carefully and translating what he heard.
“When you have a hammer, every thumb looks like a problem.” – Yours truly
“The problem of history is that it’s always too late.” – Tom Toles, Washington Post
ManagementSpeak: Quick question. Translation: I don’t have the patience to try to understand a correct answer. Contributor Eric Johansen was quick-witted enough to question the meaning of “quick question.”
“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.” – Leonard Nimoy’s final Tweet
ManagementSpeak: Can’t you just … Translation: Do you know how easy it is for me to suggest something when I don’t know what it will take to do it? Do you know how easy it was for this week’s contributor, known only as “Dennis” to the rest of us, to contribute this?
ManagementSpeak: We need to look at that analysis a little more closely. Translation: I just don’t like your decision, but I need a Six Sigma reason for disagreeing. I like this translation, and don’t need a “Six Satire” reason for disagreeing.
ManagementSpeak: It’s all about process. Translation: It’s all about checking the boxes, and not at all about getting actual results. Long-time subscriber Peter Bushman followed the process — he emailed this fine example of what managers say and what it so often means.« Previous Entries