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ManagementSpeak, 2/8/2016

Monday, February 8th, 2016

ManagementSpeak: Uptalent. Translation: We’re going to layoff employees who are doing well on the hope we can hire replacements who will do even better. This week’s contributor asked to remain anonymous so as to avoid being uptalented.

KJRSpeak, 1/1/2016

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

KJRSpeak: Self-employed friends of mine find themselves being fired on a regular basis. Thanks to budding epigrammist Matthew Cotton for this bit of quotability.

ManagementSpeak, 1/25/2016

Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

ManagementSpeak: Our company maintains an open dialogue with all our stakeholders and welcomes their feedback and ideas Translation: Thank you for your input. Now go away, the adults are talking. This week’s contributor maintained his open dialog by listening carefully and translating what he heard.

Great(?) Quotation, 1/18/2016

Monday, January 18th, 2016

“When you have a hammer, every thumb looks like a problem.” – Yours truly

Great Quotation, 1/11/2016

Monday, January 11th, 2016

“The problem of history is that it’s always too late.” – Tom Toles, Washington Post

ManagementSpeak, 1/4/2016

Monday, January 4th, 2016

ManagementSpeak: Quick question. Translation: I don’t have the patience to try to understand a correct answer. Contributor Eric Johansen was quick-witted enough to question the meaning of “quick question.”

Great Quotation, 12/21/2015

Monday, December 21st, 2015

“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.” – Leonard Nimoy’s final Tweet

ManagementSpeak, 12/14/2015

Monday, December 14th, 2015

ManagementSpeak: Can’t you just … Translation: Do you know how easy it is for me to suggest something when I don’t know what it will take to do it? Do you know how easy it was for this week’s contributor, known only as “Dennis” to the rest of us, to contribute this?

ManagementSpeak, 12/7/2015

Monday, December 7th, 2015

ManagementSpeak: We need to look at that analysis a little more closely. Translation: I just don’t like your decision, but I need a Six Sigma reason for disagreeing. I like this translation, and don’t need a “Six Satire” reason for disagreeing.

ManagementSpeak, 11/30/2015

Monday, November 30th, 2015

ManagementSpeak: It’s all about process. Translation: It’s all about checking the boxes, and not at all about getting actual results. Long-time subscriber Peter Bushman followed the process — he emailed this fine example of what managers say and what it so often means.

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my photoBob Lewis is a senior management consultant with Dell Services. He has published these columns once a week in one form or another since 1996.

Disclaimer: All opinions, statements, representations, allegations, images (if published) and anything else that appears here is the sole responsibility of the author. Dell has and had nothing to do with it, other than saying it's okay to continue publishing KJR.

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