ManagementSpeak« Previous Entries
“I told you so!” – Battle cry of every spouse who wants to be an ex-spouse
ManagementSpeak: Your position has been eliminated. Translation: You solved our problems — thank you very much — now get lost. This week’s anonymous contributors solved one of KJR’s problems — our ongoing need for fresh ManagementSpeaks. You can too — just keep your ears open and send in the offending phrases.
“An approximate answer to the right problem is worth a good deal more than an exact answer to an approximate problem.” – John Tukey, Statistician
ManagementSpeak: Solve. Translation: Determine the number of actual working employees you must fire in order to balance your budget and unbalance the organization. Thanks go to this week’s contributor, who solved our need for a great ManagementSpeak while pointing out that “solve” doesn’t always mean “do math.”
“The problem with the future is that when it shows up, I’m always older.” — Unknown
ManagementSpeak: We will have upper management visitors in our offices on Friday. Those are typically days we like to make the greatest production possible. I suggest looking for customer-facing time, in the field, closing those last orders of the week. We all want to maximize our sales efforts and be as productive as we can. […]
“Three may keep a secret if two are dead.” — Ben Franklin
ManagementSpeak: You’re a valuable member of the team. Translation: We hope you don’t take your accounts with you when we let you go. And we at KJR hope everyone continues to listen for ManagementSpeaks. Thanks!
“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.” — Mark Twain
ManagementSpeak: Our consolidation means that our internal apps will now be supported by the same team that developed them. Translation: The number you have reached is not in service at this time … Correspondent L.T. loves watching companies try to use the “reduce-headcount-to-achieve-prosperity” process … but only from a safe distance.« Previous Entries