Archive for April, 1996

Great Quotations, 4/29/2008

Monday, April 29th, 1996
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“End-users? They’re just parasites on the system.” — A programmer/analyst colleague in 1980

Are you in a mainframe state of mind? (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, April 29th, 1996
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An ongoing debate fostered by Stewart Alsop rages over when we’ll unplug the last mainframe. (Does this mean there are debates alsoped by Ed Foster? Inquiring minds want to know.) Back in the good old days, microcomputers processed eight bits, minicomputers sixteen, and mainframes thirty-two. Then progress happened. The laptop computer I’m using to write […]

ManagementSpeak, 4/22/1996

Monday, April 22nd, 1996
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ManagementSpeak: Human Resources. Translation: A bulk commodity, like lentils or cinder blocks. Thanks to reader Andrew Donovan-Shead.

Employees are total losses (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, April 22nd, 1996
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You’re a total loss for your employer. I’m psychic. I sense your thoughts. Without ever having met you, I know this fact: you are, in fact, a total loss. Okay, I cheated. I don’t have to know anything about you, your work habits, your productivity or your employer’s SIC code. All I have to know […]

Great Quotation, 4/15/2008

Monday, April 15th, 1996
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“We’re still practicing empowerment, but only on a need-to-know basis.” Fictitious manager, quoted by Reader Barb Kirby

Sam Kinison on management (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, April 15th, 1996
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Why do so many managers think treating adults as children is a good idea?

ManagementSpeak, 4/8/1996

Monday, April 8th, 1996
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ManagementSpeak: Empower (verb) Translation: Freely blame your subordinates for your problems. Thanks to reader Brian Redine

Real empowerment (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, April 8th, 1996
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I never read Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (I bought the discounted version: Four Habits of Semi-Effective People). People I respect have good things to say about Covey. While I can no more remember all seven habits than all seven dwarves, all fourteen (habits and dwarves) seemed both useful and unthreatening when […]

ManagementSpeak, 4/1/1996

Monday, April 1st, 1996
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ManagementSpeak: I’d like your buy-in on this. Translation: I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs. Thanks to Reader Jason Gill

With friends like these … (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, April 1st, 1996
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Bob Markman, a talented financial advisor of my acquaintance sees Japan entering a lengthy period of decline. His logic: China will become an economic superpower and the other “Tiger” nations will continue to thrive. Since the rest of Asia has long memories, Japan’s actions before and during World War II will lead to the rest […]

my photoBob Lewis is a senior management consultant with Dell Services. He has published these columns once a week in one form or another since 1996.

Disclaimer: All opinions, statements, representations, allegations, images (if published) and anything else that appears here is the sole responsibility of the author. Dell has and had nothing to do with it, other than saying it's okay to continue publishing KJR.

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