Archive for April, 2000
“Your honor, we find the defendants incredibly guilty!” – Jury foreman, about Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder, in Mel Brooks’ “The Producers”
Can you imagine if Lance Ito had been the judge? By the time this column appears, the verdict itself (for the Microsoft trial, of course … have there been any others?) will be old news. The obligatory snap judgments will all have been printed, so you’ve read that (a) Judge Penfield Jackson was right and […]
ManagementSpeak: I don’t disagree with what you’re saying. Translation: I stopped listening to you five minutes ago. I don’t disagree with IS Survivalist Luther Walke’s interpretation.
From a press release about Philippe Kahn, founder of Borland International: “Currently he’s developing wireless technology that will free us from our PCs, transforming digital photography into a mobile experience.” Transform digital photography into a mobile experience? This reminds me of the old joke about electric cars needing long extension cords. I’m sure Mr. Kahn […]
“When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.” – Otto von Bismarck
Balanced scorecards are good when you design a good balanced scorecard (first appeared in InfoWorld)Monday, April 10th, 2000
A recent DSL ad touts the wonders of 256K Internet access. Web sites “fly by” … instead of staying on the screen, I guess. “Talk on the phone while you’re on-line,” … Miss Manners wouldn’t approve. And, it’s “nine times faster than a 28.8 modem,” as if 28.8 Kbps modems still set the standard. The […]
ManagementSpeak: Tell me how we can improve our department so we can be more productive. Translation: We want to find out who the troublemakers are. This week’s contributor didn’t want the troublemaker revealed … he asked to remain anonymous.
I once wanted to invent an exercise machine that plugs into a standard video game port. The idea was to transform the fundamentally boring process of working out into utter absorption: When Pacman won’t move unless you’re pedal, it’s exercycle or be eaten. Sadly, the Patent Office has already awarded a patent for this idea. […]