Archive for June, 2001
ManagementSpeak: We have a terrific project opportunity for you. Translation: We see this project as the Titanic, and we need someone to conduct the band. IS Survivalist John Pfeifer explains the difference between a captain and a conductor.
Wanted: Brilliant physicist, to lead the Perpetual Motion Institute (PMI). It’s a Catch-22. In Joseph Heller’s brilliant novel this badly misused metaphor was a combat exemption clause. To get it, you simply had to apply for it. Unfortunately, the act of applying for Catch-22 automatically disqualified you from receiving it. This would also be the […]
ManagementSpeak: Honesty is the best policy. Translation: Well, lying didn’t work … IS Survivalist Dale McKinnon tells us the honest truth (which is, of course, the preferred kind).
To get my PDA working properly I had to change my e-mail address. It’s an irritating story. I’ve been using CompuServe 2000, an IMAP e-mail platform, with Outlook as my e-mail client. Everything worked fine … most of the time, anyway … until my recent change in employment, which moved my calendar from my office […]
ManagementSpeak: There will be no cuts in personnel after the merger is completed. Translation: Please don’t leave until we decide who we want to lay off. I think we can guess why this week’s contributor chose to remain anonymous.
When Cortez landed on the shores of became Mexico later on, he issued the famous order, “Burn the boats!” It’s testimony to either his leadership ability or his ruthlessness that his men didn’t shout back, “What are you, nuts?” Through dumb luck (for the Spaniards that is) the Aztecs caught smallpox from Cortez’s crew and […]
ManagementSpeak: We believe their career opportunities will be enhanced by the new strategic partnership. Translation: They’re outta here! This week’s contributor chooses to remain anonymous to avoid enhanced career opportunities.
Who wins when one company acquires another? The shareholders do, of course. The point isn’t to impoverish the owners. The acquiring company ought to win too, as measured by profitability and marketplace success. That, in fact, ought to be the reason for any acquisition. Whether the goal is increased economies of scale, elimination of a […]