Archive for July, 2001

ManagementSpeak, 7/30/2001

Monday, July 30th, 2001
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Managementspeak: You have to be more efficient. Translation: We don’t care what — if anything — you produce as long as you work nights and weekends. IS Survivalist William Adams worked nights and weekends to translate this phrase for us.

The problems with web services (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, July 30th, 2001
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The Roman general Pompey added a grain of salt to his food, believing it would counteract poisons added by would-be assassins. Thinking himself safe, he was eventually stabbed to death. So take what you read about Web services … a technology that’s solidly in the “hype” phase of the technology life cycle (the other phases […]

ManagementSpeak, 7/23/2001

Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: Application of this tool in our environment is critical to the success of meeting our objectives. Translation: We have to find a place to use this or I won’t be able to justify the expense of the leftover funds I had to burn to secure our budget for next year. This week’s anonymous contributor […]

What is web services? Or is it are? (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, July 23rd, 2001
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Alfred Hitchcock promoted one of his movies with the slogan, “The Birds is coming.” He got tremendous free publicity through debates about his grammar. Pedestrian grammarians complained about the lack of agreement between subject (birds) and verb (is). The more insightful recognized that The Birds was a movie title, and therefore singular. So what should […]

ManagementSpeak, 7/16/2001

Monday, July 16th, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: I didn’t realize I owned that issue. Translation: I plan to sit on my butt. This week’s anonymous contributor explains the relationship between ownership and sessility.

And the best managers are … (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, July 16th, 2001
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During the Vietnam War, hundreds of thousands marched on Washington. A few years ago, Louis Farrakhan organized the Million Man March. I fantasize about holding National Boycott Stupidity Day and getting the same kind of turnout — throngs of citizens tired of popular culture’s ongoing celebration of idiocy and ignorance as greater virtues than logical […]

ManagementSpeak, 7/9/2001

Monday, July 9th, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: Yeah, but the thing is … Translation: I’m not going to let the facts get in my way. IS Survivalist John Priebe doesn’t let obfuscatory phrasing interfere with our comprehension.

Marks, zealots and politicians – the bad manager brigade (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, July 9th, 2001
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Groucho Marx once described W. C. Fields as, “a great friend and a great drinker.” Once, visiting Fields’ house, he was shown an attic full of alcohol. “Bill,” Marx said, “Prohibition has been repealed.” “Yes,” drawled Fields in response, “but it might come back!” In addition to his fondness for ethanol, Fields was also the […]

ManagementSpeak, 7/2/2001

Monday, July 2nd, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: I guess my thinking at this particular point in time might be that it may be prudent to wait until such time as we could gain a better understanding of where we are going with this issue by studying it a little further. Translation: I couldn’t make a decision if my life depended on […]

Lawyer managers (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, July 2nd, 2001
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It’s Perry Mason’s fault. Responding to a remark about CO2 and global warming a few weeks back, a surprising number of readers pointed out that global warming is “just a theory,” with the evidence falling well short of proof. The Greening Earth Society — a fossil-fuels-industry propaganda machine — beats this drum loudly. To the […]

my photoBob Lewis is a senior management consultant with Dell Services. He has published these columns once a week in one form or another since 1996.

Disclaimer: All opinions, statements, representations, allegations, images (if published) and anything else that appears here is the sole responsibility of the author. Dell has and had nothing to do with it, other than saying it's okay to continue publishing KJR.

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