Archive for December, 2001

Great Quotations, 12/24/2001

Monday, December 24th, 2001
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“The promise of America is Opportunity, not Guarantee.” – Abraham Lincoln

A holiday card to the industry – 2001 (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, December 24th, 2001
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My grandfather sold gloves in the five-state area bounded by Illinois and Minnesota. Not door-to-door, you understand, but to every major retailer. He became a salesman, he once told me, because he “just wasn’t any good at kissing rear ends,” which, he figured, meant he wasn’t destined to work in an office. He was very […]

ManagementSpeak, 12/17/2001

Monday, December 17th, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: Why do you have to make things so complicated? Translation: You went beyond the two-syllable limit! Alternate Translation: I’m too busy to give this more than a 3 second glance. It must be your fault. IS Survivalist Bryan Mullinax uncomplicates the specifications for an executive summary.

Strategy and tactics (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, December 17th, 2001
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Hitting a pitched baseball is the most difficult job in professional sports, or so I’m told. According to my back-of-the-envelope calculations, only about 1% of the strike zone yields a solidly struck ball, and the batter has less than a half second to get his bat there, swung hard enough so the ball at least […]

ManagementSpeak, 12/10/2001

Monday, December 10th, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: Don’t thank us. It’s the least we could do. Translation: We tried to do less, but couldn’t get away with it. Thanks to this week’s contributor, who, by remaining anonymous, did get away with it.

xRM fads (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, December 10th, 2001
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If you don’t have a new idea, coin a new acronym. Last year’s fad was C-level positions. We had CKO (chief knowledge officer), CPO, (chief privacy officer), and CCO (chief customer officer), and it was a wonder nobody added CSO (chief sanitation officer) to the list, all reporting directly to the CEO, re-titled “chief ego-gratification […]

ManagementSpeak, 12/3/2001

Monday, December 3rd, 2001
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ManagementSpeak: We need to reset their expectations. Translation: We need to reduce what they get from us while making them think nothing has changed. IS Survivalist James Tomascak resets our expectations about how to translate euphemisms.

Customer Elimination Management (first appeared in InfoWorld)

Monday, December 3rd, 2001
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And now, news from the trailing edge of customer service, which my father, the great guru of direct marketing, has dubbed CEM, for “Customer Elimination Management.” I won’t mention the names of the offenders — that would be crass, and besides, I doubt they’re the only companies that pull stunts like this — but there’s […]

my photoBob Lewis is a senior management consultant with Dell Services. He has published these columns once a week in one form or another since 1996.

Disclaimer: All opinions, statements, representations, allegations, images (if published) and anything else that appears here is the sole responsibility of the author. Dell has and had nothing to do with it, other than saying it's okay to continue publishing KJR.

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