Archive for January, 2003
ManagementSpeak: That is a really innovative idea. Translation: Unless it doesn’t work. Then it, and you, are idiotic. Thanks to IS Survivor David C. Roxin for his innovative example of management jargon.
Requirements were for when IT delivered applications to its “internal customers.” We’re way, way past that now.
ManagementSpeak: We need to establish uniform practices across the enterprise. Translation: We see what you’re doing, and we want you to stop it. IS Survivalist John Pfeifer would like to stop the uniform practice of obfuscatory exposition.
“We can’t just let users install anything they want!” This, the mission statement of the Value Prevention Society (VPS), has, in a decade, evolved from controversial policy to unquestioned postulate. The history of the personal computer belies it. PCs succeeded because they freed end-users from the constraints imposed by centralized IT, letting them select, install, […]
ManagementSpeak: This isn’t a cost-effective solution. Translation: This is going to be charged to my cost center. IS Survivalist Bill McIntosh supplies us with a very effective translation.
Gartner has finally achieved perfection. Not content to rest on its laurels, it has supplemented its thoroughly meaningless Total Cost of Ownership (TCO) calculation for personal computers with a perfectly ludicrous companion calculation for personal digital assistants. Are you ready for this? According to Gartner, an average PDA costs about $3,000 per year once all […]
ManagementSpeak: You are empowered to take reasonable risk in your job to fulfill your responsibilities. Translation: Reasonable risk is anything that doesn’t impact my or my team’s productivity. This week’s contributor decided that providing his name would represent an unreasonable risk.
I’m offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become a charter member of the Value Prevention Society. To qualify for VPS membership, just include, with your check for $950, a notarized copy of the page in your IT procedure manual that specifies total desktop lockdown. VPS members allow nothing but MS Office and whatever enterprise application […]