Archive for January, 2006
ManagementSpeak: We need to hold people accountable. Translation: We need a ready supply of scapegoats. This week’s contributor, not wanting to join the ranks of available scapegoats, requested anonymity.
“We had an employee job satisfaction survey that was done every quarter for a year or two back in the early 1990’s,” reports a regular correspondent. “One question was ‘How satisfied are you that your management team is giving you the support you need to do your job?’ For two or three surveys running, the […]
ManagementSpeak: I’ll let you get back to work. Translation: I have to get back to work. This week’s anonymous contributor had to get back to work.
It’s hard to soar with eagles when you’re being pecked to death by ducks. Many authors, yours truly included, have penned grand prose describing the challenges of leadership. From reading them you might think business executives have a powerful focus on grand purposes. You might think that’s why they’re where they are, and that you’re […]
ManagementSpeak: It’s nothing personal. Translation: It’s very personal. KJR Club member Thomas Conley translated this for us personally.
Want to manipulate someone? Make ’em angry. Want to know if you’re being manipulated? If you’re angry, you probably are.
ManagementSpeak: We endeavor to develop a fungible resource model. Translation: Some day you can all be replaced, preferably by robots. But unlike this week’s anonymous contributor it will be a long time before a robot can translate ManagementSpeak.
In high school one of my poorer bits of judgment was an attempt to win the admiration of an exceptionally attractive young lady. My strategy was to tell her a very funny joke. The joke I chose was, had the vocabulary existed back then, politically incorrect and then some — its punchline was a pun […]
ManagementSpeak: Don’t blame me. The majority wanted it this way. Translation: I’d rather do what’s popular than what’s right. Don’t blame this week’s anonymous contributor — the majority wants accurate translations.
Next year, wish everyone you know a Nifty Newton’s Birthday and a Pleasant Perihelion. Lauren Eve Pomerantz, a regular correspondent, suggested these as tongue-in-cheek alternatives to the usual and strangely controversial choices for well-wishing during the interval between Thanksgiving and early January. Sir Isaac was born 12/25/1642, and “Remember,” she points out, “if it hadn’t […]