Archive for August, 2008
ManagementSpeak: You are entering a flat organization. Translation: Your career has officially stalled. Joe Baxter, KJR’s podcast-meister, provided this interpretation. I hope his podcast work on our behalf hasn’t stalled his career.
Once you’ve made the sale, management consulting is pretty simple. It works like this: 1. Interview a lot of people. If, like me, your name is Bob, hope the employees haven’t watched Office Space. 2. Ignore everything that works well. If two people complain about the same issue, it’s a problem. 3. If the company […]
ManagementSpeak: As you all know we are going through a major reorganization. Theoretically you all have jobs. Translation: Better make sure your resumes are up to date. This week’s contributor might be going through a reorganization, and doesn’t want to have to keep his resume up to date.
Imagine corporate headquarters is an operating system, each business unit is an application, and the departments within corporate and the business units are threads. If you can successfully imagine this, you have some nerd in you and fit right in here at KJR Club Central. But never mind that. It’s time for some serious analogizing. […]
ManagementSpeak: We have no plans for redundancies and the business is doing great. Translation: Another 100 people will be marched offsite next week. I guess this week’s anonymous contributor didn’t want to be the next one marched offsite.
Imagine you’re Steve Ballmer, thinking about basketball. In basketball, teams that hold a big lead wisely but boringly choose to run out the clock. They score no points themselves, but minimize the risk of making mistakes that would allow their opponent to score. That works for basketball, where each game is self-contained. In the long […]
ManagementSpeak: What I did was entirely legal. Translation: I was a schmuck, but I’m not going to admit it to myself, let alone to you. KJR Club member Rand Fazar was a mensch — he sent us a top-notch example of ManagementSpeak in action.
The most amusing response to last week’s column was, “Our esteemed host, despite being gifted with intelligence and perception, is a liberal. And, when considering things political, liberals seem unable to actually look at the evidence.” However else you interpret political events since the ascendency of the GOP in 2001, only a Fair and Balanced(TM) […]