Archive for January, 2011
ManagementSpeak: Team Player Translation: Someone who can bludgeon, bribe, cajole, threaten, intimidate, wheedle, sweet talk, pressure or otherwise coerce coworkers into assisting with a project. This week’s anonymous contributor didn’t need to engage in any forceful persuasion. Submitting this excellent entry proved he was, in fact, a team player.
Fun with PowerPoint: Draw a circle for each of your direct reports, arranged in a ring. Color the solid performers green and those who present challenges yellow. Your problem children? Red. Next: Connect every pair of circles with a colored line — green for good working relationships, yellow for those with some friction and distrust, […]
ManagementSpeak: That’s a really good question. Translation: I knew someone was going to ask that. Here’s my prepared non-answer. Alternative translation: Uh … Geoff Hazel joins the KJR Club with this prepared answer.
Qualifiers are for lawyers, not writers. “In the absence of exogenous factors it’s generally true that 2 + 2 = 4. Notwithstanding the above, accepted mathematics applies except when unforeseen circumstances lead to different conclusions,” is, to be charitable, ungraceful. When accuracy and good writing collide, though, accuracy should win. It didn’t in last week’s […]
ManagementSpeak: We use a comprehensive change management system to ensure the quality of our mission-critical systems. Translation: You’ll need to ask the committee. I don’t want to be blamed for anything you break. Igal Koshevoy asks a crucial question: Is a committee a system?
Fog is just a cloud you can touch. So instead of “Private Cloud,” wouldn’t “Fog” be a better choice? You can, interestingly enough, build ITIL-compatible Fogs. The Cloud? Far less likely. As last week’s interview with ITIL guru Rick LiaBraaten revealed, The Cloud is deficient with respect to at least four ITIL core processes: Problem […]
ManagementSpeak: I’ll see if I can get that removed from the requirements. Translation: Get used to it. This week’s anonymous contributor explains, “I’m in a sarcastic mood today, so here’s some ManagementSpeak.”
My major premise is that ITIL (according to its proponents, at least) defines professional standards for IT management. My minor premise is that ITIL and The Cloud are incompatible. My conclusion: Moving your IT infrastructure to The Cloud is unprofessional. Make this conclusion a major premise. The minor premise: Gartner predicts that within 5 years, […]
ManagementSpeak: This is your baby. Translation: I want to wash my hands of this project while continuing to badger you about how badly I think you’re handling it. This translation is Michon Scott’s baby.
If you don’t subscribe to Seth Godin’s blog, you should. And if you haven’t bought a copy of his latest book, Linchpin: Are You Indispensible? (2010) get one without further delay (unless, that is, your book budget is limited, at which point I’m pretty sure you need one of my titles far more urgently). Seth, […]